In the best tradition of the ugly duckling turning into a swan… here is what my new garden looks like right now. Mud. There’s lots of mud… and not a lot else, apart from a strip of white fencing tape to roughly mark out where my new formal sunken lawn will be. Yep, that’s the formal lawn I’ll be standing on in a big fat wedding frock in February. Begs the question really: does anyone make bridal-themed gumboots?

(And, in case you’re wondering, the blue diagram in the foreground is an attempt by the Hunk from Hunua to teach me how to work out the right angles required to result in a lawn that was square with the boundary fence. Confused? I was. I had to retire indoors for a glass of wine and a lie-down.)